I Just Can't Live A Lie
by godessoftrees
Summary: Ginny can't live a lie, neither can Harry. Songfic to Carrie Underwood's "I Just Can't Live A Lie"


A/N: I posted this on SIYE on 05/17/2006. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Song belongs to Carrie Underwood, entitled "I Just Can't Live A Lie".

**I Just Can't Live A Lie**

_Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you_

Things had changed between Harry and Ginny, they both felt it, and even though Ginny felt it and knew it, she wouldn't accept it. She wouldn't let herself accept it. Ginny had to believe that everything was normal.

Ginny Weasley had waited many years on Harry Potter, and now that she had him, she wasn't about to lose him. Even though she knew there wasn't anything she could do to stop him from leaving her if he wanted to, she was going to try everything in her will.

_And maybe turning my back would be that much easier_

Harry however seemed to accept the change, of course, he had created it. He was terrified after Dumbledore's death. If Dumbledore, the greatest wizard in the world, could fall at the hand of Voldemort, so could Ginny. Harry had to protect her. And if that meant shutting her out, he was willing to.

He didn't realize that Ginny was already at risk. Because of the events in the Chamber of Secrets, Ginny was already a target to Voldemort. But Harry didn't notice that, and he still thought he had to protect her to the best of his ability, and pushing her away was the best way he knew how.

_Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange  
But I can't watch you walk away_

It wasn't like Harry and Ginny were fighting. In fact, they weren't having any disagreements at all. But Harry's manner towards Ginny had changed, not a significant change, but enough to be noticed. Ginny knew it would be easier and less hurtful to just let him go. But she couldn't bring herself to it.

_Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?  
And all about the good times that we've been through  
Could I wake up without you every day?  
And would I let you walk away?_

Harry didn't even know himself if he could go through with it and forget about Ginny. The way it felt to hold her, the way the beast within him roared every time their lips met, how could he forget that? The past weeks he'd spent with her were the best. Could he go from waking up every day knowing Ginny was his, to not having her at all? Could he let her go, even for her own safety?

_No, I can't learn to live without  
And I can't give up on us now_

Ever since her first year at Hogwarts, people had told Ginny the same thing. "Move on. Forget about him. It's worthless, just forget it. He'll never like you anyway." But no matter how many times she heard that, she couldn't do as they told her. She couldn't live without him. And now that she did have him, she wasn't going to let him go.

_Oh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie_

Harry knew it was something he had to do. He had to let her go, it was for her sake. No matter what, Harry would always love Ginny Weasley. Nothing could ever change that. Not even Lord Voldemort himself could change how strong Harry's feelings were for that girl.

Ginny could end things with Harry. She could make herself move on. But even if she promised him she wouldn't miss him, she would. She would try to hide her love for Harry deep inside herself, where only she could find it. But even then, Ginny still knew, she couldn't live that lie.

_Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?  
And all the reasons that make loving you so easy  
The kiss that always makes it hard to breathe  
The way you know just what I mean_

Could Harry really go through with it? Could he live remembering every moment and every reason why he loved Ginny every day, but knowing he couldn't have her? Could he forget the way she cocked her head to one side when she wanted a kiss? Could he forget how easy it was to love her? Those kisses that stole his breath away, and the way she understood him when no one else could. Could Harry really give that away?

_No, I can't learn to live without  
Ohh, so don't you give up on us now_

The moment the words left Harry's mouth, Ginny knew it was useless. But she couldn't give up and move on. She couldn't let Harry give up on them, not now that they were together. But yet, she still couldn't find the words to fight back and make him stay.

_Ohh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
__I fell cause I, I just can't live a lie  
Ohh and I don't wanna try_

A part of her knew it would be pointless to fight it. It was over, Harry had made his decision. She could only hope that he would come back to her after Voldemort was defeated. Maybe then they could start their life together once again.

_Ohh, I know I could say we're through  
And tell myself I'm over you_

But Ginny wasn't going to lie to herself. She couldn't lie to herself. She needed Harry just as much as he needed her, even though he didn't want to let it show. But truthfully it did show when he left her.

_But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you now  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie  
But even if I made a vow  
I promise not to miss you know  
And try to hide the truth inside  
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie_

Ginny knew she had to let Harry do it, even though she hated it. But she knew it wouldn't last forever. That was the only way she could let him go through with it. After Voldemort was defeated, she would be with Harry. She just had to wait. Because Ginny knew, she couldn't live a lie.

_No, I can't live a lie  
Oh, I can't live a lie_


End file.
